Update:
Let me start with an example. Now I use myself as an example not because I'm a demi-god but rather I'm showing you my mindset. Well, most of you know about my family owning an apartment building up in Alaska. It's not some huge huge complex but it's 3 sections of apartment buildings slapped together. That's beside the point. Ever since I can remember my brothers and I were put to work there. We'd shovel snow, chip ice, sand the walkways, mow the grass, weed it, paint it (ugh... you don't want to know how long that took) clean up the trash on the street (high school was at adjacent from the street intersection on the corner of the property (hope that made sense). We'd clean up the toilets, scrub the walls, paint the walls, fix holes, replace counters, move just about every piece of furniture known to man, slap some old english on the oak tables etc etc etc... I could seriously go on forever. Basically my parents made us into slave labor. We hated going to the apartment building but not in retrospect I'm happy we did because instead of taking it for granted I got something out of it.
What did I learn? Well for one snow blowers do a shitty job and push the rest of the snow down so it's all compact and a bitch to shovel out, usually bend the side of the edges of the shovel trying to crack it.. lol naw really though. What I learned is that my parents accomplishments aren't the same as my accomplishments. I did, however, learn this the opposite of what I'm telling you by stating that they were my accomplishments as well. While I wasn't around to help build the place (taking into consideration the very thought of children in general was years from my fathers mind) I was around to keep people coming back and keeping people staying there. I also learned a hell of a lot to the point where I almost went to work in construction this summer just because I knew enough about it that I could actually be of some help. (Jim, my middle brother did decided to go up to Alaska to build some big million dollar homes).
(take into account I was talking about one instance of an accomplishment in my parents lives, not the over all deal, I'm not saying I'm above what I'm going to say, and some of you out there might have instances too where you were connected to the accomplishments of your parents.)
My message is simple. WE DO NOT INHERET THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF OUR ELDERS. I'll say it again, not to sound like an ass but rather because it's important. WE DO NOT INHERET THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF OUR ELDERS. We all might inheret the rewards from accomplishments such as money and property but we do not inheret the RIGHT to these things. "Well, gosh it's part of the family so of course I deserve it." Well, by law you do but it doesn't mean its fair.
Let me tell you about a friend of mine, we commercial fished together (which sadly did little for him intellectually as his parents didn't work their strategy for raising him right. Basically he's gonna inheret a 2.5 million dollar island with a 4 story mansion on it, about 10 boats and who knows how much raw cash. Well, I know I've told this story before but basically what happened was he got into an argument with a tourist and was like "Do you know who my grandfather is?" (His grandfather and my grandfather were both part of the Alaskan Senate, etc etc politicians and business partners etc etc) Despite sounding like a broken record... he used his name as a stool to stand above everyone else not as something to overcome, to grow past.
You're parents may have worked their ass off in med or law school, went through shitty cold nights and saved little by little to the point where they had satisfied their ambitions (sure we all want more money but I mean once they reached a comfortable level of living) and SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY DID. Nice warm house, car, trips to resorts and big hotels. Well sounds like a pretty bad deal. They might have deserved it but chances are we didn't. I'm not trying to scold you, I'm simply trying to show you that you can either learn from it or get crushed.
In general the pyramid of success is based on money, material possessions. I'd say happiness but usually people measure happiness based on the money/material possession so in it's own way the pyramid of success is the same as the pyramid of happiness lol... well the pyramid of success does not put you on a certain level based on what you've done but rather what you've gotten from it. Keep in mind there are different types of pyramids for different mind sets but I'm talking about the most accepted (whether we want to admit we're that selfish or not) kind of success pyramid. Others might be on experiences (Who says we have to limit ourselves to one pyramid?) Anyway, we are born onto a certain part of the pyramid. lower, middle or upper class. The levels aren't "trash, par, and special" So based on the networth of a person we're somewhere on the pyramid (only because of our parents). There are certain people at every level of the pyramid that know one thing. They know that EVERYONE else on the pyramid wants to be on the next step. It is after all one of the pyschological desires we all want (keep in mind I speak of the majority.. some people only desire other things such as monks and religious figures whom desire nothing other than to be one with God). You're parents were somewhere on the pyramid when they were born and chances are they climbed up the pyramid (keep in mind the pyramid only has so much room) so someone else had to go DOWN the pyramid, someone who wasn't willing to put in the extra effort to either stay where they were or climb themselves.
When we're born into a certain level of the pyramid we get used to it, we begin to think that this is what our lives will be like at the end of it all. Of course we ALL dream of something more. Everyone does. The difference is the level of determination a person has to get to that level. Luck of course is involved to a point but that's all it is... luck and we can't all be lucky.
As for myself I was born pretty high up on the pyramid, and suddenly out of nowhere (while money was never a problem) I got to see what the bottom of the pyramid looked like. The 11th floor of a 12 story apartment building is quite symbolic. While there was more to go on the pyramid there was so much below me. Not in the sense that I was better but I'm talking about networth here and everyday I'd go down to the bottom and walk just 100 ft to see the projects (lived RIGHT next to them) and even visit "friends" (never had really good friends in boston) that lived there and other places. I got to see what rock bottom looked like, what a total lack of ambition got someone. Then coming here and moving into a condo finished the job up. It basically told me I can either deserve what I will get or I'll squander it and lose my spot on the pyramid. As far as my mentality goes I'm planning on thinking I'll get nothing. As far as the determination factor goes I'd rather be on the higher end of the spectrum then anywhere else.
Yeah I'm done lol
UPDATED/Revised/Added: Okay guys... I know I sound full of myself. I know I'm not a really secure guy but they're seperate issues and both are getting better.
Let me stop you for a second though. I don't think I'm better than anyone else. It's all in a persons point of view and (work with me here, cause this is gonna make me sound full of myself) ones intellectual and emotional experiences. My point of view on life is what makes me believe that I will be more successful than the guy next to me, not that I'm entitled to anything. We all think we know exactly how the world works so it's quite a shock when someone punches you in the nose with something different than that which you have accepted as the truth. Let me put it this way... with everything I've been through in my life, from where I was born and raised to where I went through a really rough part of my life (Boston) to here and everything I've done inbetween. From working the most dangerous job in the world and seeing it pay off (and also, very importantly, seeing it not pay off... lost over a thousand dollars last summer) to having to fend for myself (Mommy and daddy didn't get me a car, hell I payed for my own braces... $5080 outta my own pocket) from having it all to nothing at all (4 story house -->apartment---> condo), from seeing someone die and carrying the same body later that day, winning and losing, from having a grown up friend with no voice box (kindergarden, guy worked at the school and he was like one of my best friends but my age is a factor there) winning and losing and so much more
that MAYBE... JUST MAYBE I know something about life that you don't or that you choose to underestimate.
Not that I'm smarter than you!!! Rather more experienced. Half the stuff I'm telling you know is exactly what most people say when they look back at their highschool and college selves and wish they coudl tell themselves. Most of you have never left the state or the south. and no offense to religion but here everyone has the idea that god loves you so much that nothing bad will ever happen to you and everything is gonna just be super and you're gonna be famous shoved so far down their throats that I know people in Boston who would punch you in face for the mentality.
UPDATED: 1) what the hell is wrong with you people? what's with this bullshit about me saying that Mary Allens boobs are fake? Hmm... *scans down* nothing there about that. Sounds like someone else was speaking their own mind and decided to say that I said it. Well guys we just graduated... isn't it time that we stop putting words into peoples mouths just so we can have something to gossip about? Real mature. Do I think they're fake? No. Not to mention, who cares? Some people have big boobs some people have small boobs and all in all they're not that big. (please people don't take that as if I just insulted her... I didn't. It's just a fact so pick up your jaw and shut up.
2) this isn't about any girl problems I've had. Sure it's hard for me to talk to girls but in this case... all in all the reason I basically only mentioned girls is... well... because they were the people that did whatever. This isn't about any of their problems. Everyone has problems. I believe Eistein was the one that said "Be nice to everyone you meet, they're fighting a bigger battle than you are." So yes... we're all fighting our own WW3 but I'm not talking about any of that here.
UPDATED like twice: Oh and thank you to Chelsea Conn who proved my point.
"Alex Rader is a dick who doesn't know when to shut his mouth."
Childish words from a small mind. Bitch. You act like you can actually do something to me. Cute. Uncalled for even if you were joking. Stop tearing people down and look at yourself, in and out.
Keep in mind this isn't an attack, it's retaliation.
With High School basically over I've been discovering many of my most basic failures. My flaws and mistakes. My regrets and also my successes. One mistake was to write my huge biography and suddenly expect people to understand me. I hoped that it would clear things up with people, make me a more approachable person when in fact it has done exactly the opposite. It made me appear "weird" or something ignorant phrase along those lines. I became unapproachable. I was suddenly viewed as too "emotional" thus the "emo" nickname. I became someone to avoid at all cost. First off, believe it or not, I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to come to this. Someone had to say it. None of you like me anyway so it works out but keep in mind I'm the voice of many, even some unexpected. Though this is for me I'm glad it has some more people behind it.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. So what? I'm intouch with my emotions which also means I'm moreso intouch with my instincts which sure as hell gives me an edge. I know what I want, I know what I need, and unlike others I happen to strive to be more than I am. Unlike those who choose to go get waste or clubbing every other weekend I become a stronger person than I was the day before. If you're not moving forward then you're actually moving back. Life isn't some elevator where every couple of years you go up in some emperical formula because a certain amount of time has gone by. Fortune DOES favor the bold. Life is a staircase and hurting yourself takes you down a step and lets be honest... each stair is a day... and there's no staying on the same step... you're either going up or you're going down. Each day another stair materializes infront of you and if you don't move forward then its the same as moving back. You could have been at the top stair and now you're one away... and it just builds on and on. Sorry kids, life isn't the game of Life where we all ride around in a pink car with our stick bodies shooting out of the roof, get married, have a blue boy and pink girl and then go become governor.
UPDATE: Oh and another thing. It kinda surprises me how we're all gonna be lawyers and doctors and be millionaires with maides and nice cars. You guys DO know what kind of commitment that is right? Then you go off and complain about your simple, warm, job with a set price per hour? How about spending a $1000 each summer to go up to Alaska for a job that MAY or MAY NOT get you any money at all but you're damn sure you're gonna work 100+ hour weeks and the harder you work doesn't even guarantee money in the cold, wet, and dark hell hole of a boat without showers, shitty food that's sometimes not even fresh where you pick the mold off the bread before you eat it only to have all the money you spent invested into your teeth while your class mates are given brand new cars for shit.
You want emo? Here it is:
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and a late of reflecting on everything I've lost and basically my current status in life and with others and I've discovered I'm severely under par. Keep in mind my standards. I'm not saying I"m better than anyone but my standards are on a whole different level then most of you. SOME of you... if we had the same standards I'd be just about God. *dodges lightning*
So here's the most emo part of all...
and as God as my witness it is a promise...
and this is for those who chose to ignore me from the class president to the senior girls... you know who you are and if you don't then you're dumber than I thought...
it's a simple message really...:
...you'll be sorry.
Amazing isn't it? Some of you won't even care, that's cool too... those are people we call ass holes. See they're so wrapped up in themselves that they could care less about how they treated someone or how that person felt. See they're so sure that life is so simple and that everything is just lined up in a damn line for them to grub on and as time goes by everything is just get peachier. It's amazing how so many people are so damn sure that the world owes them something just for being born or being them. I mean, after all, they know exactly how the world works and are the only truly enlightened one. It's true... you are unique... but unique isnt' the same as special. Now I use special lightly because to be honest I'm not 100% sure what i mean when I say this. It'll come to me. lol... i'll update on that later or something.
Well isn't that cute. You think you're all grown up cause you can swig a beer or stay up late. Nice. Been there, done that. I was lucky enough to get that phase over pretty quick. Though to be fair I'll admit things might have been different if I hadn't moved to Boston. Time to get over ourselves people. We're all the same flesh as the person next to you, tan or pasty white, thick or thin.
Those people who thought I was ugly: you'll be sorry
Those people who thought I was dumb: you'll be sorry
Those people who thought I was weird: you'll be sorry
If you had any idea... which you would if you truly knew me.... wow... people don't believe me when I tell them what I do everyday.
Chances are nobody that this applies to is even going to read this... after all I'm to be avoided at all costs. I've been really emotional this year... I've been reaching out to people so forcefully it was like I was yanking at them. People like Nancy from Siegel to Camden at OHS. I've got some apologies to make and I am sorry you had to see me that way. You never even gave me a chance though! 
Good riddance to the half of you, as for those at MTSU well... see you on the other side. Some of you have been nice to me and some I wish to know better though at this point I'm looking super emo so that's going out the window. I try. Hopefully we'll end up okay but right now you're still all in the same basket. Redemption is possible but chances are if you're in the basket then you don't really care to begin with, thus... you'll be sorry. I don't know you and you don't know me. You keep this in mind and I'll do you the favor of keeping it in my mind too. What makes me so damn special? I'm just as mortal as the rest of you, the only difference is I know it. There's nothing special about me, that's exactly what makes me special... wooooh deep lol. I wonder... how many people look up to you? A lot of people look up to me. Sure... that sounds arrogant and that i"m full of myself but it's the truth. If you ask them its not all for the same reason either. So ask yourself why someone would want to look up to you, whether you think you deserve it or not lol 
If life is about the roads we travel then let me say it this way... most people stay on some kind of path, less traveled or well pathed... either way they usually have some measure of safety involved... being an accountant for instance... if that's what you want then go for it but I'd hardly call being able to invision what every single day of your life is going to be like a very good way to spend your time on earth. Ever heard of El Durado... it's good enough if you've seen the disney version but I mean the real deal. If life is a road then I'm not even in a some normal forest with blue berries on the side of the road where I'll see the same damn thing the entire journey and know exactly where I'm headed... I'm talking about searching for El Durado. Going through a perilous jungle where I may or may not get where I want to go but the journey to this city of gold will be the reward... the city of gold part is just on the side. When I'm there I'll go looking for another city.
Oh and... don't be too surprised. About what you say? Well, when you're surprised and it involves me then.. well... stop being so surprised.
If you still somehow doubt me in any way... still feel that the honor of "most likely to succeed" just doesn't fit me... Lets talk about this for a second. To be voted you need votes, correct? It's pretty clear that those people who voted for me know a shit load more about me than you do. Now stay with me here, I may appear to stray with this next comment but it's enter twined. See you can tell a lot more about what kind of person someone is by looking at what their friends LOOK like. That you must always be associated with beautiful people who do popular things which btw is usually drinking... grow up... (oh btw... drinking doesn't make you grown up only makes you look like one of those kids who feels grown up cause he gets to stay up late to watch a movie with his parents) Back to the subject at hand. See, unlike most of you (those that apply of course) I do not judge possible friendships on looks nor how often I talk to them or what I would do for them. After all why would I want to help someone who isn't as popular, athletic, smart, or whatever as I? Sounds like you've got a strong moral base. Go to church just cuase everyone else does huh? Too bad, even if you're not religious the very foundations of Christian believes are worth living by, son of god or not. ANYWAY, I did stray. See I have so many friends, from all different "caste" levels, builds, looks, smarts (lol for lack of a better word) because I have a philosophy when I meet someone. I turn the lights off. See, what you do is you act like you can't hear their voice, though you know what they're saying (cause some people sound dumb with their voice or sexy or whatever lol) and you listen. You found out what kind of person they are and then... you turn the lights back on and sometimes you leave the room and sometimes you don't. That's why I got the votes I did, because I offered my hand and they offered theirs. I don't care what someone looks like as long as they want to be my friend. See, I care about all of my friends, from casual friends to my best friends. There's no difference in what I would do for either of them. I've not gone and done something fun with my best friends so I could help a casual friend who's in a grind. Never underestimate anyone, everone is capable of something that you can't do. If still feel that I'm just some misty eyed idealistic fool, that I am not going to make good on my promises, that I will not succeed past what normal people succeed then this is for you... that I am lacking in anyway ...
I don't need you so let me be blunt... fuck off. Never come to my xanga again because I can assure you that I will not "invite" you to it. It's for those actually interested in what I've been thinking about, no longer is it my way of trying to talk and reach out to people. I tried. I'll never initiate another conversation with you either. I've tried so hard with people like Aubrey, Camden, etc etc.. and sure I was weird about some of it but the balls in your court and if we never "play" again then I'll be content. Oh and I"m serious when I say good luck to you and everyone else i"m talking to. I may sound harsh but I'm saying it cause I wish you the best believe it or not. Even if I am wrong about some of you... think of it this way... we all judge by what we see and if you're showing something that's not what you implied then who's fault is it when we judge wrong?
and there's a difference between showing the opposite of what we imply and never even be given a chance.
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